Tag Archives: trusting god

Sleepless in…Dayton (Part 3)

During my second day of testing, one the nurses asked me if Doctor so-and-so (the Epileptologist) had been in to see me yet. I told her that I wasn’t sure because so many people had been in and out. She replied, “Oh, you’ll know her. She’ll have an entourage of medical students following her around.” The nurse was right. The next morning a doctor walked in and I knew exactly who she must be because there were 6 students right at her heels.

She told me that I could go home that day. She explained what they had seen. Apparently, my brain has these abnormal high waves all the time and they aren’t sure why. They have the potential to turn into seizures but they aren’t actual seizures. They only saw a few actual seizures while I was there even though I felt like I was going crazy the whole time. Her solution: put me back on the meds until we find the right one.

I felt a little stunned. I had gone through all of this only to be right back at the same place. Still no answers really. Just more medication to control symptoms, not fix the cause.

But God was teaching me something in that hospital bed. The first night, when the nurse woke me up to check my blood pressure, I got up to use the restroom. Which is really difficult, by the way, when you have 26 wires coming off of your head and 5 off your chest. As I went to wash my hands, I fell. With no warning, a seizure came and BAM! I was suddenly sitting hard on the floor. I was so surprised that it took me a minute to get back up. You see, every seizure I had had before that one, came with a warning sign. That was the very first one that came with no warning whatsoever.

Because I always had warning, all the nurses had let me use the restroom by myself even though technically they weren’t supposed to, but now that was over. A nurse had to be with me every time. Talk about humbling.

The worst part was, as I crawled back into bed exhausted that night, I realized I had lost my last bit of control. Having that warning gave me the assurance that I could always be sitting or leave the room but that was gone now. Suddenly the world felt a little more unsafe than it had a few hours before.

As I laid in my own bed on my first night at home, my heart was in a lot of turmoil and I couldn’t fall asleep. I was talking to God about how I had wanted that control and warning and how I was afraid now that it was gone. I realized I was going to have to up my trust game. I was going to have to pray for God to give me trust in him more than ever before. Have you ever had God answer a prayer immediately? In that moment, as I prayed for God to calm my heart and give me trust in him, I felt a wave of peace come over me such as I have never felt before. I thanked him and fell asleep right away.

So no, I still had no answers. No magical potion to make everything go back to the way it was. But I do have a God with answers and as hard as it is sometimes to actually do, I knew I could trust him and rest in him.


(You are currently reading a post in a series called The2016Story. If you have jumped in in the middle and would like to start at the beginning, click HERE.)

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Posted by on January 30, 2017 in The2016Story


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A Random Post from a Jumbled Mind

As you may know, my little brother has epilepsy.  If you didn’t know that, you may want to read THIS post.  Anyway, he hasn’t had a real seizure for over a year due to medication to prevent them.  On Monday, he acted funny all day and through a fast sequence of events, he ended up in the ER again.  It’s pretty sad when a trip to the ER barely ruffles the day anymore- we kind of have a routine.

The girls have still been doing school without mom here.  They do it pretty well on their own with only a little help from me.  There have been so many calls to update people and get news from mom.  Today, all of us girls headed over to the local crisis pregnancy center to volunteer and spent a few hours helping out.  We proceeded to eat lunch at MacDonald’s (because I had coupons) and then picked up a gift for mom because she is kind of worn out.

A couple of ladies from our church will be bringing us dinner tomorrow and Friday. I’m so thankful for them!!!

The doctors are really unsure what to do at this point.  Do they increase his meds or put him on another one?  This was so out of the blue.  David will be coming home later today and we can’t wait to see him.

With mom in the hospital, I was able to get her mother’s day gift ready.  We (finally) bought a wireless router and I was able to hook up the laptop, printer, and Wii.  Shhhhh….it’s still a secret….


And through it all here’s what we know…

God is good and he’s in control!



Posted by on May 8, 2013 in contentment


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How the Weather Pertains to Faith

Yesterday, I was teaching a six-year-old girl her science lesson for the day.  She is learning about weather and the textbook showed a picture of some trees being bent by high winds.  The question for the picture was, “What could you do to protect yourself in this kind of weather?”  I read her the question and without hesitation she responded,


Just simply that. It was so unexpected because I was reading what the teacher’s manual provided as the correct answer: wear a coat, put on a hat, etc..  I was surprised by her answer but said enthusiastically, “Why, YES!”

The Bible talks about having faith like a child.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”   Matthew 18:1-4

What does it mean to be humble like a child?  A child assumes that an adult knows more than himself.  Sometimes, I think people think they know better than God and what man has planned is better than what God has planned.  We need to humble ourselves before God.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

“Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.”  Daniel 10:12

Children are so simple. So trusting. That little girl fully trusted that all she had to do to protect herself was pray for God to protect her.  I’ve been thinking about that since it happened yesterday.

Do I trust God that way?  How about you?


Posted by on April 13, 2013 in humility


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Thoughts of a Twenty Year-Old

Since I have now lived for twenty years, I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned in that LONG time.

#1.  I don’t know how people can live without the Lord.  He is my provider of peace, hope, and joy.  How miserable people must be without him!

#2. Children are a huge blessing.  If I ever get married, I want to have as many kids as God gives us.  Plus, they are free entertainment.

#3. I’m a cheapy-charlie.  I hardly ever buy stuff full price and Goodwill is my favorite store.  And the clearance aisle of Wal-Mart.  And the clearance aisle of K-mart.

#4. I have so much to thank God for.  For his love and holiness, and his forgiveness and sanctification.

#5. I’m not always right.  I know, you already all knew that, right?

#6. I have so many wonderful friend to thank the Lord for.

#7. Wii scores are not something to get mad over.

#8. Computers are HUGE time wasters.  (Ummmm….why do you blog again?)

#9. Some self checkout registers at Wal-Mart are for credit cards only and you should not try to use cash at these ones.

#10. People think you are crazy if your favorite dessert is ice-cream, you don’t really care for icing on cakes, and you dislike pumpkin pie.


Posted by on November 6, 2012 in about me


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Church at Home

I have what is now known around here as ‘the PLAUGE.’  I have contracted hand-foot-mouth disease.  Everyone is disgusted by my mouth and my throat hurts when I breathe.  My Dad’s response, “Don’t breathe then.”  HaHa.  I did have a fever for two days but last night it broke.  So thankful.

Anyway, no one went to church this morning because, although I’m the only one that has it right now, everyone can carry it and it is highly contagious.  Everyone at church, say thank you.  So, we had church at home.  We sang from the hymnals which is very interesting since none of our hymnals match.  So you have to look up the song in the index and then sometimes the words aren’t the same- it makes for interesting singing.

Then we listened to Alistair Begg on YouTube.  Ahhh…I could listen to him all day.  You can listen to what we listened to here.  (How can I ever go fishing again?)

And here are some amazing songs to encourage you today. – I Will Glory in My Redeemer – Before the Throne of God Above – All I Have is Christ


Posted by on October 14, 2012 in church


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New Perspectives

I have a new opportunity before me to be a blessing to someone else.  There is a young, homeschooling mother I know.  She used to babysit me and now I babysit her kids.  I have started going to her house every day to be a help to her.  Cleaning, organizing toys, helping with teaching, and keeping the baby occupied during school time for the older ones are some of the things I help with.

Little did I know that when I went over my first day, the mom would have a terrible headache.  She could barely move, it was so bad.  At that moment, I was grateful for the migraine I had the day before.  I just don’t think I would have been able to minister as well to her if I hadn’t had that experience myself.  I wouldn’t have been as sympathetic to her.

Isn’t it amazing?  What God has planned for us in his wisdom? He knows what is best for me, even if I don’t like it.  So I trust in God, because he loved me before I was born and he enables me to have faith in him. And he is all good, all the time.


Posted by on October 2, 2012 in blessing, encouragment, homeschool


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Life’s Little Lessons

Migraine.  Whenever I hear that word, I chuckle to myself.  I mean, really, how can you get such a bad headache that you can’t be up and about?  Can it really hurt that bad?  This ignorance of mine probably stems from the fact that I’ve only ever had sinus headaches.

Yesterday, about halfway through Sunday School Class, I noticed my vision was off.  I was looking at one of the kids in my class and I could only see half her face.  It was really strange – it was like there was a glare on everything I looked at with my left eye.  Before church, I told Mom I was running to the bathroom to see if there was something in my eye, even though I didn’t feel anything.  The bathroom mirror didn’t show anything either.  When I got back to our pew, my head started to hurt.  I confess, I didn’t sing one word in church yesterday.  My head hurt worse than I thought anything could hurt.  It felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer.  Suddenly, in the middle of the sermon, my left hand and wrist went completely numb.  I quickly wrote Mom a note, which I saw her show Dad and then Mom, David, and I got up to leave.  As we were walking out the door, my left cheek went numb.  We drove home so I could change and get comfortable in case I needed to go to the ER.  As we got in the van, my loving and concerned brother asked, “Can we stop at McDonald’s and get a milkshake?”

I wished I was 10 years old right then so I didn’t have to make the decision to go to the hospital or not.  We drove back to pick everyone up from church.  On the way, David said, “Mommy, we forgot to get Kimmy some candy!”

Lesson #1 Candy fixes everything.

On the way back home (we DO live five minutes from church!) to drop everyone off so Mom, Dad, and I could go to the hospital, David said, “Do we have the stuff at home to make milkshakes?!” I love that boy.

My hand and cheek were only numb for a few minutes but my head was still pounding.  The bumpy road didn’t help either.

At the ER, they made me do all kinds of funny things.  For example, touch your nose with your index finger and then touch the nurse’s finger, back and forth as fast as you can.  While I was waiting for a CT scan, the nurse gave me a shot to stop the headache.  It made it worse.  On a scale of 1-10, my pain was at 9 for a while.  Once it started to get better, though, it got better fast.

Lesson #2  Wearing a hospital gown is just as bad as not wearing anything.

The CT scan went well.  There was nothing wrong.

The doctor told me I had a complex migraine.  The difference between a regular migraine and a complex one is that a complex migraine affects you neurologically.  My loss of eyesight and the numbness were both caused by the headache.  They hope that it was just a one-time thing. You and me both, brother!

Lesson #3 Yes, you can have a headache so bad that you can’t move around!

Lesson #4 Be more sensitive to others with migraines!

This was my first time at the ER.  I’m not prone to accidents, so although my siblings have been there many, many times, I’ve never had to go.

I hope it never, ever, ever, happens again.  But if it does…Well,  I guess I’ll just have to trust the Lord!

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Posted by on September 24, 2012 in about me, injury


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