This will be the last post in the series The2016Story. Not because that Story has ended but because it is continuing. I will continue to update and write but 2016 is over and you are now caught up on it. I feel like I barely scratched the surface of everything that actually went on, but I did my best. Some things are just too difficult to write about.
It was the hardest year of my life but I actually think I am having more trouble now than all through the summer and fall of last year. I am struggling to move on. How do I adjust my life to this change? How can things ever go back to the way they were before? It reminds me of a part of one of my favorite movies (Lord of the Rings):
“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on? In your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.”
Now, I believe that our God is able to heal those hurts but I don’t think my life will ever be the same again. In some aspects, that is a good thing. I don’t want to forget what God has taught me or how I’ve grown to rely on him and on others. But to be completely honest, some nights I lay and cry because I want my old life back. I want to go through a day without headaches, seizures, or pain. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and actually feel refreshed, ready to take on the day and serve Christ. I want to be able to do the things I could before and I wish that none of this had ever happened. Which reminds me of another Lord of the Rings quote:
“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
It has been a constant prayer of mine that God would be glorified in my life no matter what happens. No matter what I’m going through, I want to love others, share the gospel, and see his Name lifted high. And that is my prayer for 2017.
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