RSS

Tag Archives: thankfulness

Running Towards Gratitude

I’ve been feeling a little bit better recently. I’m finally starting to see results from my “time out” and I’ve gone from having 5-7 seizures every day to last week having roughly 2-3 a day. Which is awesome!

I’ve been taking a lot of walks recently. And gradually, I’ve pushed myself to go farther and farther on these walks. Sometimes it’s been accidental (I wonder where this road comes out?) and other times I am testing my body and brain to find its limit. Probably not what the doctor would order but…

Anyway, with all this walking, I’ve just been itching to go for a run. It’s been sooooo long and the weather has been beautiful and I thought, surely if I can walk 4 miles, I can do a short run, right? So this morning I woke up feeling a little extra ambitious and thought, this is the day, I’m going for it. I had walked a route yesterday that was about 1.7 miles so I planned to run that same route.

I started out nice and easy and within the first 2 minutes I could feel the pressure building in my head but I wasn’t giving up that easy. I pushed and pushed until it got to the point where I was kind of scared that if I kept going, something drastic might have to happen (like a horrible ambulance ride, ugh.) So I came down to a walk and looked at my running app- 1.02 miles.

Instantly I felt this sense of defeat. Defeat, because I didn’t complete the run and walked back, which I hate doing. If you had told me two years ago that soon I would barely be able to run 1 mile, I would have laughed at you.

But in that walk back home, I had time to pray. I realized that it’s a blessing to be able to do all the walking I’ve been doing in the first place. It’s a blessing that I’m not shut up at home all the time, but can be out and about doing things. And what I really should be doing is thanking God for that one mile, instead of discarding it in disgust. I kind of needed an attitude change and to remember all the things I have to be thankful for.

And so today, I am grateful that I could not complete a run so that God could remind me of his goodness and give me time to thank him for it.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 4, 2017 in epilepsy

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Answered Prayers

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. I haven’t for a long time now, but I do usually pick something in my life that I need to work on and pray for the Lord to help me in that area.

On January 1st of 2016, I asked God to make me a more compassionate person. I realized that I rated very low on the compassion scale and I wanted to be more tenderhearted and sensitive. You see, I’m usually a get-over-it, you’ll-be-fine kind of person. So I prayed and asked God to teach me how to give more compassion to others in 2016.

Did you know that God doesn’t think the way that we do? You probably did. Actually there is a verse that goes with that,For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LordFor as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Well, in MY mind, God was going to make me more compassionate by sending someone to me that really needed compassion and mercy and I would suddenly acquire tons of compassion and have this wonderful opportunity to show it to them. I had it all figured out. But as the verse says God’s ways are not my ways.

Instead, he made it so that I was the person who needed compassion. I needed the people around me to be sensitive and tenderhearted and compassionate. I needed people to care for me, encourage me, and show me gentleness and comfort.

And that’s when it hit me. I didn’t know what compassion was before. If God had done things my way, I wouldn’t have known what to do because I didn’t know how to comfort someone or show them compassion. I needed all those people to teach me and show me first before I could learn to show it to others. I desperately wish I could have learned another way but I know that God’s will is perfect and he is always good.

I am thankful that God placed those people in my life to be living examples of compassion. So you see, God really does answer prayer. I have learned so much about how to comfort others who are going through a difficult situation. I definitely still have a lot to learn and I still pray for compassion often but I am thankful that God didn’t do things my way. I am thankful that his thoughts are not mine and his ways are higher than mine.

 

(You are currently reading a post in a series called The2016Story. If you have jumped in in the middle and would like to start at the beginning, click HERE.)

 
Comments Off on Answered Prayers

Posted by on February 10, 2017 in The2016Story

 

Tags: , , , ,

Offering Sacrifices

So where do I go from here, right? I had just spent three days in the hospital without any real results. I had a follow-up appointment scheduled with the neurologist and I told him that the medicine wasn’t working. I was still having seizures. I asked what my options were and sat there in silence as he basically blamed me for the medications not working. He made it sound either like it was my fault or like he didn’t believe me that they didn’t work. Aaaaaannnnnd that was the last time I saw him.

I’m sure it is hard to be a doctor. So much of it is trial and error and it would kill me to watch people suffer who were under my care. I think that must be why so many doctors and nurses have developed the hard, uncaring outer shell. I certainly met some very kind people in the medical world, but they were definitely the exception, not the rule. In fact, they were so few and far between that I could easily tell you each one.

So there I was: answer-less and now doctor-less. Fortunately, I wasn’t Jesus-less! A few days after that appointment, I wrote in my journal:

“Today is the 6 month mark from the first seizure (it was Oct. 10th). Who would have thought it would last this long? Who would have known what God was about to bring me through, to teach me? Which reminds me of a verse I read today in Psalm 50, ‘The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me…’ I so want to be that thankful person! I don’t want to take things for granted. Thank you, Lord, even for the rough times.”

What do you need to be thankful for today? What have you been taking for granted that you can simply pause and thank the Lord for? What is something you have never even thought about thanking God for?

A few days after that appointment, Natalie walked into the office and announced to me that she had gotten an appointment for me at the Cleveland Clinic. And it was less than three weeks away (which is really fast in the medical world for an appointment.) I was so thankful! Thankful for Natalie who worked tirelessly to get that appointment, for the Lord working everything out to get it so quickly, and for the opportunity to visit some of the best doctors in the nation.

 

(You are currently reading a post in a series called The2016Story. If you have jumped in in the middle and would like to start at the beginning, click HERE.)

 
Comments Off on Offering Sacrifices

Posted by on February 3, 2017 in The2016Story

 

Tags: , , ,

Sleepless in…Dayton (Part 1)

By the end of summer 2016, I had been to two different neurologists and on 4 different seizure medications. I still didn’t have answers. I didn’t even have an official diagnosis. The meds either didn’t work to control the seizures or the side effects were so bad (my body hates medicines) that I had to be taken off of them. I had also been to a homeopathic doctor and there was no help from the natural end of the world either.

So my doctor decided it was time to do the test I had been avoiding for 3 months: EEG monitoring. This is where you go into the hospital for 3-5 days (you don’t know how long you need to be there until they start monitoring and gathering data) and they do a continuous EEG on your brain. I had been dreading this test for a couple reasons: a) they take you off all seizure medication during it and I wasn’t looking forward to that. b) I was going to be missing my favorite week of camp back at work. c) what in the world was I supposed to do in the hospital for 3-5 days hooked up to all these machines??

My mom and sister both came up for the testing and bright and early on August 9th, my mom drove me to the hospital. We got checked in and they started hooking up all the wires to my head and chest and then they wrapped my head to prevent the wires from falling off. The nurse wrapped my head very tightly and she told me that it was because she didn’t want to have to redo it. I actually still have a mark on my forehead from where one of the electrodes was pressed into my head. During the testing you are on video, sound, and EEG record and a tech watches you 24/7. I had this brilliant idea that I was going to use this time to rest my poor body. It needed rest so badly so I planned on getting as much sleep as possible. Since we had had to wake up early to get to the hospital, once everything was hooked up, my IV was in place, and all the nurses left the room, I settled in to take a nap. I was just about asleep when the tech came in the room.

“Hey, honey. You know you can’t fall asleep, right?” Uh…nooooo. “They have you on sleep deprivation right now so we need to keep you awake for roughly 21 hours and then we’ll let you sleep for 4.”

Oh. That would have been nice to know the night before because I probably wouldn’t have stayed up late talking with my sister with this nice thought in my mind of sleeping at the hospital the next day. Suddenly I felt overwhelmingly tired and I was stuck sitting in bed… this was going to be a long day.

When my first meal arrived that day, I bowed my head to pray and said, “Lord, thank you for…” and I started to cry. It occurred to me how unthankful I had been for this opportunity. There are so many people in the world who don’t have access to medical care or the financial means to use it and I had be so ungrateful for my chance to do this testing. I had been caught up in how much I didn’t want to go and how unpleasant it was going to be that I had forgotten to thank God for giving me this chance to find answers.

 

(You are currently reading a post in a series called The2016Story. If you have jumped in in the middle and would like to start at the beginning, click HERE.)

 
Comments Off on Sleepless in…Dayton (Part 1)

Posted by on January 25, 2017 in The2016Story

 

Tags: , , , ,

Gratefulness

I have been thinking lately about the ten lepers who were healed and the one man who came back to thank Jesus. Grateful people are lacking today. I want to thank God for every thing he gives me so here are five things I am thankful for today:

1. My family- I love them soooo much!

2. Snow!

3. Kisses from my baby brother.

4. My bed. Almost every night when I crawl in bed I say, “Ahhh, I love my bed.”  Not so much that particular mattress, just warmth and comfort in general.

5. Air. I’ve had trouble breathing before and it is not fun, so I’m glad God created fresh air!

 

 
Comments Off on Gratefulness

Posted by on March 22, 2013 in thanksgiving

 

Tags: ,

The Perfect Christmas

This year, we had some of the best presents we’ve ever had for Christmas.  They weren’t really expensive or really fancy, but they fit the intended person just right.  I know you want the run-down, so here is the list of the best presents:

  • I wrote a while back that we were remodeling our bedroom. We did it mostly because for Christmas, Rebecca moved into our room. She is getting older and it will encourage her to act older and more mature if she thinks of herself as one of the ‘big’ girls, instead of a little kid. We painted and completely rearranged the whole room and none of the younger ones saw it till yesterday. Over Becca’s bed we painted a big letter ‘R’  with a tiara on it, complete with sequins. She was so surprised and thrilled. She spent practically all day in her new room.
  • Bethany and David still share a room. They’re young and don’t care. So, in their room we put up a canopy over Bethany’s bed. She has the top bunk and we fixed these lacy curtains to the ceiling and they hang over her head. She LOVED it- she’s such a girly girl!
  • We also hung curtains (not lace ones) around David’s bed so it’s like a tent in there. He was so excited!
  • For Mom we got a set of non-stick pots and pans. It is an 18 piece set and SHE spent last night figuring where to put them.  It was a great gift for her, AND they were FREE! My Dad’s work does this safety drawing if you are accident-free and he won this set- which is what we wanted to get Mom anyway!
  • We got Dad a HDMI cord that hooks our laptop to the TV. We had an old one, but it always messed up the computer, so the new one is wonderful.
  • David got lots of presents but he’s so easily pleased that all of his were great 🙂
  • Of course, Caroline got the video posted for her.
  • And me? I got what I wanted most: a Mp3 player for when I run. Ahhhh….I love it.

Of course, there were lots of other gifts given and many of them were wonderful as well. These here were just the best ones. We’ve never had a Christmas like this before. There were many presents that couldn’t be unwrapped, like the bedrooms and the video. But they fit. Everyone agreed that this was our best Christmas

 

 
Comments Off on The Perfect Christmas

Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Christmas

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Bah! Humbug!

A Christmas Carol is one of my favorite stories. Of course, the BEST version out of all the movies is The Muppet Christmas Carol. It is almost word-for-word from the book.  I think a lot of people may identify with Scrooge.  Christmas is a bother and can make you spend money, ect.

Not me. I’ve always loved Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the whole year. I love going into stores and wishing the cashiers a Merry Christmas (right after they tell me Happy Holidays).  I work on my presents (I make most of them) from January to November. Usually, I have them all done and wrapped early in December so that I can just relax and really remember Christ’s birth.

This year is different. There is one particular present that I’m STILL working on, despite the fact that I started it in August. It is a slow process and it seems to crawl towards the finish line. Also, I just wrapped all my presents last night.  It just doesn’t feel right.

In fact, all day yesterday I felt sort of Scrooge-ish. Not that I hated Christmas or anything. I just was feeling a little overwhelmed.  I told my Mom that I didn’t think I was going to finish that present in time, but she reassured me that I would if I just kept going. I didn’t believe her.

But last night, right before bed, I was listening to the Joy: An Irish Christmas cd. I was laying in bed as the last song finished. It reminded me of the TRUE spirit of Christmas. It’s not about the presents or wrapping. It really isn’t.

It’s about God sending his Son as a baby for us. I’m so thankful.

So, I’ll still attempt to finish that present, but if it doesn’t happen- it’s OKAY!

 

 
Comments Off on Bah! Humbug!

Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Christmas

 

Tags: , ,