RSS

Tag Archives: pray

Refining Gold

I always tried to be a helpful child when I was younger. I liked to make people happy so was usually eager to be accommodating and obedient. Sometimes I took this method a little too far. For instance, when I was about 5 or so, I remember coming home from an evening church service with my family and I heard my Dad say, “Did I leave the stove on??” Always one to be helpful, I eagerly exclaimed, “I’ll check!” and placed my hand flat on the burner before anyone could stop me. Turns out, it was on and I burned my hand and learned a good lesson.

I was thinking about that story recently as I heard someone referencing a verse in the Bible that talks about God refining us. There are actually quite a few verses on the topic and I got to wondering how hot a refiner’s fire was anyway? I’ve been around a lot of fires and sometimes I turn my oven up pretty high…how hot does a fire have to be to melt metal? So I did some research. Turns out that to melt gold a fire has to be anywhere from 1600-2000 degrees F. Whew! (Guess I won’t be doing any of that in my kitchen…)

And the more I thought about it, I realized the huge significance of those verses. One of my favorites: “The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts.” Prov. 17:3 The parallel drawn here is pretty clear as the author compares the method of refining metal to how the Lord tests and refines our hearts. Suddenly it became apparent to me that it’s not a pleasant parallel. The more I read about refining, the more I realized that I didn’t want that done with my heart! It’s hot and it hurts! It’s not a fun process and that’s why it’s so important to have God’s perspective and not ours. Right now, I just see the temporary pain and loss but according to God’s Word:

According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:3-7

All that to say this: every year I pray for a specific thing that I want God to teach me that year. In 2016, it was compassion and we all know how that turned out. This year, I prayed for the Lord to give me a richer prayer life. You know what happened? I moved to an apartment by myself, I was under rest orders from my doctor, and wasn’t even able to read my Bible for a while. My only resort was to talk to God.

I know what I want to learn in 2018 but I am actually terrified to pray for it. I have truly seen that God answers prayers but not in the way I expect and I am afraid for this one. I’m not sure I’m ready for the heat of this fire. I want to learn true and full contentment in Christ. I want him to be my life and the fulfillment of it. Right now, I often feel restless and discontent because I want my life to be how it was before. I want my old life back and the more I realize that isn’t going to happen, the more upset I become and I don’t want to live like that. I want to embrace the life God has given me even if it’s not what I would have chosen for myself.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but on January 1st, that is what my heart will be crying out and what I will continue to pray for the entire year. Would you pray with me?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 16, 2017 in contentment

 

Tags: , , , , ,

The Miracle of Life

When Mom was pregnant with David, she haemorrhaged and we thought she had had a miscarriage.  As my Dad rushed her to the hospital, he hurriedly told me what happened and asked me not to tell my siblings.  There was a reason for this. It was 2 or 3 days before our big family reunion and one part of the family was coming in that evening.  He didn’t want the others to worry.  He wanted them to enjoy our cousins that live at a distance and we don’t get to see very often.  I cried buckets but somehow managed to hide them from my sisters. (Well, except for Caroline asking one time, “Are you crying?!”  What are you talking about, you goose?)  I had wanted this baby so bad!  I LOVE babies!  I was heartbroken at the thought of that little baby dead.  Our family arrived and I quietly told my aunt and uncle what had happened.  Their response: “Your mom is pregnant?!”  I guess they missed the memo.  When my Dad came home a while later, I was in another room.  All I heard was, “The baby’s okay!”  I think that is the only time in my life that I have literally fallen on my knees and thanked God!  I was so very, very thankful!!!  As it turned out, Mom had to stay on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy and some months later a healthy, tall baby boy was born.  I praised the Lord for His goodness to me!

David is THE baby.  He has the funniest, cutest way of asking for things that he almost always gets it.  Come on, just look at those dimples.  Who could refuse them?!

On February 29, 2012, I sat David at the computer so he could play his ‘special school’ games.  A minute later, I walked over to find him slumped against the back of the chair and his arms were jerking.  His face was turning purple.  “Mom, come here!” Caroline casually walked over to see what was going on.  “Coming!’ called Mom, but it didn’t sound like she was moving real fast, so Caroline and I yelled together, “NOW!”  She ran in.  We originally thought he was choking because I had given him a piece of bread and it was sitting on the desk near him.  Mom told me to go get Dad who just “happened” to be home that week.  As I was coming with him, Mom yelled, “Call 911!”  Dad grabbed the phone while Mom gave David the Heimlich to get him to breathe.

Rebecca came in the room and after one glance at what was going on, she ran sobbing to her room.  I ran after her and hugged her as we cried together.  We prayed over and over again for God to protect David and help us.  I had to leave her to help Mom.  The ambulance was on its way and David was semi-conscious. It was at this moment that I gathered my wits and remembered that I had set MY bread on the desk when I found him in the chair.  He wasn’t choking.  He tried to walk but just stumbled around.  Just as the EMTs entered our house, he lost consciousness.  The thing that settled me the most was when they walked in the room.  They asked what his name was and then while listening to his heart one said, “Hi David!  We’re here to take care of you.”  They quickly took him in the ambulance with Mom and Dad followed in the van.  At that moment, I stopped crying.  I knew that I was in charge now and if I was an emotional wreck, Becca and Bethany would be too.  Caroline was the worst -she loves David very much.  I called our dearest friend to tell her but I had to leave a message.  I then called our pastor and his wife.  At the time, they lived right down the road from us and she came right over to talk to Caroline.  Then she sent it through our church’s prayer chain.  And some other friends sent it through the homeschool group prayer chain and their churches’ prayer chains.  And it seemed that within 15 minutes, everyone in the county knew about David.  There were so many wonderful and concerned calls from friends to tell us they were praying for us and if we needed anything, just to call.

Through many tests, we found out that David had a seizure.  For a while, I felt kind of guilty that I hadn’t remembered right away that the bread sitting there was mine.  I knew David would have bruises from the Heimlich Maneuver.  I felt like that until Mom told me that one of the doctors told her that that helped him to breathe again.

While he was in the hospital and after he was moved to one farther away, Caroline and I took care of the girls.  We slept in the living room together at night and one night, we spent the night at a good friend’s house.  They missed Mom a lot, especially Becca. She is such a Mommy’s Girl!  But there were lots of calls to Mom (even with the cell phone breaking in the middle of all this) and we kept ourselves busy to keep their minds from worrying. He spent 2 days in the hospital.

David has had many seizures since that day.  In fact, he had one just three days after he got out of the hospital.  This time he spent four days in the hospital and we were able to visit one evening.  It was so nice to see him and give him lots of kisses and hugs.  He hasn’t had another one that caused him to stay in the hospital. With each seizure, they kept increasing his medicine dose.  Finally, now, 6 months later, we have completely controlled all seizures and seizure activity.  Praise the Lord!  

It was quite an ordeal. In fact, even as I write this I am crying.  But God is good!  He’s always in control! I can see ways that we have grown closer together because of this and I praise the Lord for it!

When I look at David, I praise the Lord.  I praise Him that He gave David to us and that He protected him through the seizures. This serves to remind me every day of the preciousness of life.  It reminds me of the miracle of life.

 
Comments Off on The Miracle of Life

Posted by on August 27, 2012 in about me, brothers, family

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Some good news…and some bad news.

In May, we got a trampoline.  All of us kids bought it. We had worked hard on selling jelly at our homeschool co-op sale and we also had a yard sale.  We love our trampoline and it was so fun to earn it together.  Someone is on it every day, if not all of us.

Today, I was on our trampoline with Caroline and David.  David had been making up all sorts of interesting games (“Kimmy, you are the salt, Caroline is the pepper.”).  He got off and found this light piece of material which he rolled up and said was his baby.  He then brought that on to the trampoline, laid it out, and told us not to step on his ‘baby.’ Caroline, who can be a little competitive, immediately said, “Alright, Kimmy, first one to step on the baby looses.” She gave me a grin and started to jump.  After her second jump, she tripped right over that baby and fell flat on her face.  I was laughing so hard I didn’t realize at first that she was crying.  This was VERY unusual.  Caroline never cries, especially in front of people, unless something is seriously wrong.  She was holding her ankle and sobbing. I quickly told Becca to run and get Mom.  Her ankle started to swell at once.  Bethany prayed for her as I helped her to the car and David prayed too.  Mom is taking her to the hospital right now.  We are sure it is either a serious sprain or it is broken.  Please pray that God will give her peace of mind and will give the doctors wisdom.

So you may be asking…WHAT is the good news?!  Well, a friend of ours has some crutches we can borrow!

 
Comments Off on Some good news…and some bad news.

Posted by on August 21, 2012 in injury

 

Tags: , , , ,