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Author Archives: Kimmy

About Kimmy

Hi, my name is Kimmy and welcome to my blog! I am just a regular person saved by grace through faith in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. A few of my interests are running, theology, horseback riding, baking, the flute, reading, and laughing with friends.

A House of Prayer

I had a new revelation at church this week. Cue the flashing lights and trumpets! Everyone leans forward in their chairs! Because, as we all know, everyone wants to learn about new stuff! But what I actually mean is, God did NOT reveal something other than his Word to me, he revealed something about his Word as it relates to my life. Sorry to disappoint. 🙂

Anyway, the past few weeks, I have felt really BUSY at church. My brain has felt scattered and cluttered, filled with things I need to do while I’m there. I usually walk to church and on that short walk, my mind starts coming up with people I need to talk to when I’m at church and I start planning how I’m going to fit it all in. For instance, this Sunday alone, I had 4 people I needed to talk to about different ministry things, I needed to connect with the other Young Adult leader about some things, I’m the secretary of a committee and needed to confirm a meeting for this Wednesday, AND I had a meeting right after service. It’s a lot to fit in if you count trying to find all the people and talking with everyone else you bump into.

And the problem is, IT’S ALL GOOD STUFF. And it all does need to get done. But by the end of church I was frustrated because first of all, my list wasn’t complete, and secondly, there were other people that were hurting at church and my heart WANTED to talk with those people but because of my “to-do list”, I didn’t have time.

And that’s when my focus cleared up. Verses from Matthew and Mark quickly popped into my head and I realized that I had made church a place of business instead of keeping it a place of worship and prayer. Once my “have-to” stuff became more important than ministering to those that needed it, God quickly convicted my heart. And I’m so thankful he did!

I also realized that there was absolutely no need for those things to be done on Sunday. In my mind, I just always say, “Oh, I’ll see them at church and talk to them then.” BUT I DON’T NEED TO! Why in the world do I have phone calls, texts, and emails if I’m not going to use them?? I don’t NEED to push everything to Sunday because it can be done before then. What I need to do is restructure my mind to think this way and diligently plan ahead of time.

Ok, so maybe this wasn’t a new revelation for you at all. But it was for me. And now I have a list of things to do before Sunday gets here. I’m sure things will still pop up on Sundays but that’s ok. I’m praying my mind and heart will be able to focus a little bit more on the reason I go to church this coming week.

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2018 in church

 

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In Case of Emergency

The other day I had to fill out an online questionnaire. (You have officially read the most boring opening sentence ever.) HAD is the crucial word in that sentence because it was a long, and in my opinion, meaningless, questionnaire but it was something that I really did have to do. I sincerely hope that the people who received it were able to get some sort of information from all the random questions they asked.

Anyway, one of the questions read something like, “In the event of a real emergency, how many people do you have in your life that you could count on to help you?”

Somehow my brain translated that question into “How many people would you call in the event of an emergency?” and I actually answered with 1. I thought of the time I needed to go to the ER and literally all I did was call my best friend, she came home from work to take me in, and contacted all my family. She handled everything. So in my mind I just thought, “Well, I’d call Natalie and go from there.”

I was about to click to the next question when I glanced over it again and realized my error. Oh! How many people could I count on?? That’s a totally different question! The options were 1, 2-5, 6-10, or 11+. Suddenly I knew my answer and at the same time how incredibly blessed I am.

I realized if I REALLY needed someone to help me, not only would my friends and family drop everything and come, but my church family would do the same thing. And the other churches in the area would respond too. How do I know? I’ve experienced it and I seen it over and over again. Suddenly 11+ seemed like waaaaayyy too small of a number for this question.

My guess is that the people reading the questionnaire can probably see how long I spend on each question and if I change my answers. They probably thought I was rigging my answer when it switched from the lowest number to the highest.

Nope. Just remembering the kind of community I have in Christ and what a blessing it is.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2018 in blessing

 

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When in a Funk

A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a couple from my church and the husband told me that a mentor of his used to say to him, “Man, you are just in a funk today! You need to go out and talk to someone about Jesus.” And he would literally kick him out of the office (which is ironic because they worked in a ministry) and he would go find someone to share Christ with.

The whole story kind of stuck with me. He talked about how it didn’t really matter how he was feeling that day, somehow telling another person what Christ had done would change his mood and outlook on the day. So I’m here to tell you two personal stories about sharing Jesus “when in a funk” and how they turned out.

Last Saturday, one of my co-workers asked me if I would make her some monkey bread. For some people, this probably sounds like a bizarre request, but (not to brag) my monkey bread is actually pretty well-known and I get requests for it all the time. To be fair, it’s a family recipe and it’s pretty amazing. I was more than happy to make it for her and asked her when she wanted it. She asked if Sunday would work. Honestly, I sighed a little inside. If you know me or have read this post, you probably know that Sundays aren’t my best days. I usually come home after church and crash. But I knew that I really did have the time to make it that day so I told her that would be fine.

When she came to pick it up, she ended up staying and talking for a while. She’s young and goes to church without her family and wants to be baptized, so in the course of our conversation, she asked about my baptism. I’m pretty sure my whole face lit up. That was a really special day for me (maybe I’ll post about it sometime) and I loved getting to tell her about it. After she left, I realized how invigorated I felt, just from talking about Christ’s love for me.

And the words came back to me: When in a funk, talk about Jesus.

Fast forward to a few days later. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had a lot of things weighing on my mind but was trying and trying to trust the Lord with them. But in reality, I was kind of grumpy. Having remembered the success from Sunday, I decided to find someone to talk to. I live just down the road from a nursing home, so I grabbed my Bible and went there. Come to find out they have a lot of entrances and I wasn’t really sure which one to go in which just further added to my frustrated feeling. Finally I just picked one and marched in like a soldier. I smiled sweetly at the secretary and asked if I was allowed to talk to some of the residents. She told me to feel free. Great.

I found an older lady sitting by herself in the dining hall and asked her if I could sit with her and pulled up a chair. We introduced ourselves and that’s when I discovered that she couldn’t hear very well. I CAN talk loud when I need to (people are usually really surprised 🙂 ) but it’s hard for me to keep it up for a whole conversation so there was a lot of repeating. She told me about herself and her life and I read some verses to her. She was feeling kind of discouraged and frustrated though and wasn’t sure what purpose she could have in the nursing home. And I’m not really sure she heard me say anything. After about an hour, I prayed with her and went home to get ready for work.

And my thought was, “Well, that didn’t make me feel better at all!” Instantly, I was stung with conviction about my motivations. Ouch. I realized the difference in the two situations. The first time, I was focused on my friend and on the Lord- talking about him and what he had done in my life. The second time, I was only worried about myself- what would make ME feel better and help ME.  My heart was totally in the wrong place.

So I do believe the statement still stands: When in a funk, talk about Jesus. Just make sure you are focusing on him and his glory.

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2018 in witness

 

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Unworthy

One of my favorite ice-breaker questions is, “What is your very first memory? The first thing you can remember from your childhood?” This is a great conversation starter and you really can learn a lot about a person when you ask it. My very first memory is actually being potty-trained. You probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. I remember because when I would go to the bathroom, I would get sprinkles as a reward and I remember licking them off my hand and the colors would stay on my hand. And I didn’t like the round sprinkles as much because they would get stuck in the cracks of my fingers. Isn’t it crazy how vivid that is?? And it’s not from hearing people tell me the story because when I told my family this last Christmas, none of them remembered.

Seriously, think about it: what is your first memory? You might be surprised what you remember. And ask others- it’s always fun to see what friends remember.

So what’s with the sudden interest in memory? I had a virtual appointment with my doctor from Cleveland last week and I explained to her the memory issues I was having. She confirmed that it is a really common complaint with those that have epilepsy and it could just be from the epilepsy itself but it’s also a side effect of my meds. Because I’m finally seizure free, we aren’t willing to change up any medication so I’m kind of stuck there. I asked if anything could be done because I’m losing some long term memories but mostly having trouble with everything short term. Her answer was to keep notes and lists. -_-

One of the things I’ve really noticed me starting to forget that’s bugged me the most is Bible stories. I mean, seriously, these are stories I’ve heard and read since I was born and I can’t remember them! So I decided I needed to do an overview of the Bible. Some friends and I are currently reading through the Bible in 90 days. It’s a lot of reading a day but it’s totally worth it. We’re doing it through the Bible app and we can post a note each day on something God has taught us and that way we are learning from each other too. It’s really been a blessing so far.

Something that struck me was a verse in Genesis. Jacob was about to meet Esau and he was afraid of what Esau might do to him so he’s praying to the Lord. And part of his prayer says:

“And Jacob said, ‘O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD who said to me, “Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.'” Gen. 32:9-10

So on days when I get frustrated because I can’t remember things, or I feel exhausted from the meds, I WROTE THIS VERSE DOWN so I can remember it. Because I am not worthy of ANY of God’s love and faithfulness that he has shown me either. And I don’t want to forget that.

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2018 in epilepsy

 

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The Fight for Joy

Obviously my time has been filled with things other than blogging recently. The IDEAS are here, it’s the motivation and energy that’s been lacking. So here’s what I’ve got for you today.

My evening devotions the other night talked about fighting for joy. To be honest, I was taken off guard. I feel like this really shouldn’t be a new concept but it was for me. I have always been such an upbeat, cheerful, and content (mostly lol) person that I didn’t have to work at it much. I mean it. Optimism and joy was just naturally part of me. My best friend has told me that I used to be obnoxiously cheerful. Which was her (kind) way of saying I lacked compassion. 🙂

But recently I’ve been having trouble finding joy. I KNOW how blessed I am and I KNOW that thankfulness is the key to having joy but the days keep dragging on and my joy is missing. I’ve read the verses and I’ve prayed over and over about it, asking God to give me back my joy in him.

And I think that’s why this devotion hit me so hard. Joy has always been easy, a part of me, something God provides. I have NEVER considered fighting for it. I’ve never thought that joy was really a choice in my life. It was just something God gave me and I wanted it back.

I love this definition of joy by John MacArthur:

“Christian joy is the emotion springing from the deep-down confidence of the Christian that God is in complete and perfect control of everything, and will bring from it our good in time, and our glory in eternity. That’s Christian joy. Christian joy is not an emotion on top of an emotion. It is not a feeling on top of a feeling. It is a feeling on top of a fact. It is an emotional response to what I know to be true about my God.

I love that. So when I drag myself out of bed every morning, weary before the day starts, I don’t feel very joyful. But I know what is true about my God. I know how much he loves me, I know he is faithful to his promises, I know he cares for my whole being, I know he is good, I know he never changes. And in THOSE things, I can find joy. You can too, friend.

It really is a battle, and I’m aware and ready for it now.

“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
Psalm 94:17-19

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2018 in contentment, joy

 

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Lonely in a Crowd

I can’t say that I EVER remember being lonely as a kid. In fact, I’m pretty sure until I moved away from home I still had the idea that usually lonely people were elderly ones who couldn’t get out of the house and sat by themselves for days on end. I had 5 siblings so there was always someone to talk to. And if you got tired of one person, you just went and found another. 🙂

But I’ve grown up a little since then and I know the pain of loneliness. But I also know that most people don’t admit that they are lonely. My friend’s mom has this saying, “If all the lonely people in the world would turn on their porch lights at night then everyone would be a lot less lonely.” Oh, that just makes me laugh. Lonely people don’t TELL others they are lonely! And, from experience, I think I’ve figured out at least one reason why.

There are different types of loneliness. There’s the kind where you actually are alone. When your spouse is out of town for the week on business or when your kids grow up and leave home. I live by myself so I know that every night when I get off work, I will come home to an empty apartment. I will be alone. How about when you are alone in your convictions? When those around you don’t share your faith? That can set you apart and make you feel like an outsider too.

But there’s another kind of loneliness and I actually think it’s worse. When you are surrounded by people and still feel alone. I have often felt this way and it’s taken me a long time to figure it out. How can I be surrounded by my friends and family and STILL FEEL SO LONELY?? Finally a light bulb came on and I realized that (at least for me), while everyone else is present and accounted for, I’M the one not there. My body may be there but my heart and mind feel trapped somewhere else. Somewhere that makes it hard (practically impossible) for others to get there or me to get to where they are.

Maybe this sounds crazy to you. There is a good possibility that I am crazy so just go with it. Or maybe you haven’t experienced this kind of loneliness before. And this is the reason people are afraid to admit they are lonely. They don’t want to make their friends feel bad. And they have found that more “social gatherings” doesn’t help with anything. There doesn’t seem to be an answer.

At this point maybe you were expecting some incredible cure for loneliness? I’m going to have to disappoint. I really don’t have anything to cure but here’s what I know: I KNOW our loving Father never leaves us so we are never truly alone. Talk to him more than ever if you are lonely. Even if you don’t feel like it’s helping: just keep praying and reading his Word. Also, keep in fellowship with his body. Let others know even though YOU. WON’T. LIKE. IT.

I’ll leave you with this quote I read the other day by Paul Matthies on loneliness. As you and I talk with the Lord this week, let’s ask for a deeper joy in Him.

“In Philippians 3:10, Paul uses the phrase, ‘the fellowship of his sufferings.’ So many of us love to enter into the fellowship of God’s joy, but Scripture also calls us into the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings. And sometimes, we don’t need to avoid the pain or numb the pain; we need to look at that pain and ask God for a deeper joy.”

 
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Posted by on July 20, 2018 in contentment

 

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My Case Against “The Case for Christ”

When I was in middle school or so, I read The Case for a Creator. And although a lot of the science was (and probably still is) completely over my head, I really enjoyed the book. I loved all the reminders about how creation points to the Lord. So I was pretty excited when I heard they were making a movie on one of the other books by Strobel, The Case for Christ. I haven’t read that one, but I was eager to see the movie. Although a little anxious too because, let’s be honest, Christian movies tend to be cheesy and have bad acting.

My whole church was excited, actually. We even did a movie night for it and hung posters up all over town. I ended up working nursery that night so I didn’t watch it but wasn’t too upset because by that time, it was on Netflix and at my fingertips.

When I finally did get around to watch it, I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t because the movie was cheesy or the actors were bad, it was the message. If you haven’t watched it, this might spoil it so here’s your fair warning.

The wife gets saved at the beginning but all throughout the movie the meaning of that is somewhat vague. I was willing to let that hang in the open because the focus was really on Lee anyway. So what really got me was at the end when he admits that the evidence for Christ’s existence, death, and even resurrection is too overwhelming to ignore and he gives in. He admits that he believes God is real, is sorry for hurting his wife and family, and that is portrayed as what everyone needs to do. I kept waiting for salvation to be explained and things to be cleared up for the unsaved watchers but it never came! I mean c’mon! Christian Mingle had a better salvation message than that! (Yes, I watched it- don’t judge. I had the stomach flu and was really bored.)

Salvation is MORE than believing in the existence of God and even Christ. There are many people who believe that because the evidence IS too much to ignore or because- Duh, of course I believe in God- it runs in my family. But those same people are sadly not on their way to heaven and it’s wrong to give them a false hope that they are. Salvation includes heart change, repentance, forgiveness, and an indwelling of the Holy Spirit. So I take issue with narrowing it down to simply admitting that God is real.

A lot of people will probably say I’m being picky. Yes, I am. I think we need to be picky about a movie that SO many people talked about as a great way to lead others to the Lord. It may be great as an encouragement to those who are already saved- a way to confirm the faith they already have, but I don’t believe it should be used as a salvation tool.

If you want a salvation tool, may I recommend the book of Romans? I have found that much more helpful. 🙂

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2018 in movies

 

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